About the Pool Cleaners from Distant Planets

Rhaab claims to be from Z'ha'dum, and so far no one has been in a hurry to visit the place to try to confirm this. He has also publicly claimed to be a member of the Drakh race; if this is true, then this would make him the ugliest Drakh alive (or, by any non-Drakh standards, the prettiest) and therefore something of a misfit.

The other Pool Cleaners have foolishly accepted him as some sort of leader of their group, which is so far the only evidence that he has any of the impressive mental powers normally associated with the Drakh. His demonstrations of invisibility, for instance, are always preceded by sudden pointing and a shout of "Look over there!"

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Jeph Antilles (no relation) was one of the best and most successful freelance pilots around. Then the new government started passing strange laws, interfering with just about every industry, and cracking down on... well, everything, really. This put Jeph in an unfortunate position as legitimate work became more and more difficult to find.

He started to do, in his own words, "less than desirable things to make ends meet." After that, it was all too easy to get trapped in downward spiral of doing worse things for more money. Eventually, it led to him being a wanted man everywhere, with thousands of ships, both military and civilian, eager to blow him out of the sky.

He felt his home galaxy wasn't safe any more, but knew that even in hyperspace, a trip between galaxies would take thousands of years. So he stole a stasis pod and launched himself towards the nearest galaxy that might accept him. The pod was eventually picked up by Rhaab in what happens to be a pretty funny story, actually, but you really had to be there.

Jeph has never clearly stated what final crime he committed to get himself literally chased out of his galaxy. When asked, all he does is shake his head and reply, "Let's just say that four million credits buys an awful lot of sleaze."

A random fact: Fasten, then Zip.

Not all that long ago, an Earth teenager happened to be in the right place at the right time to help the people of Rylos. He soon became, in their eyes, the greatest thing since automatic head-polishers. This gave the scheming Rylan known only by his alias of "Centauri" a money-making idea: he would start importing Earth culture.

Centauri made a fortune off of Earth knick-knacks such as lava lamps, Celtic rock, and thong underwear. Rylans began having fun for the first time, and some of the rebellious younger Rylans actually started growing their hair. One such rebel was Sh'wn, who after viewing a video on Earth mating rituals (California Valley Girls, to be precise), decided to "borrow" a ship and head for Earth. After familiarizing himself with the basic controls, he began picking random objects of space debris to use for target practice.

One of his targets appeared to be no more than a spinning mirror, but in fact turned out to be the gateway to a Kryptonian prison. Destroying it freed Myk-El, who was brought on board and quickly persuaded to join Sh'wn's quest.

Sh'wn is understandably proud of his accomplishments since reaching Earth, as he has done the most of any of the Pool Cleaners in their mission to infiltrate the human culture and be accepted by them. He met an Earth female, persuaded her to marry him (without the use of mind-control devices), and actually followed through on the primitive ceremony. He would like to thank all of the eligable young ladies who offered their services and, though he can no longer accept offers of sex from Earth females (other than his wife), he says that it's still okay to send him pornographic pictures, filthy fantasies and sexy stories.

Myk-El is from Krypton and is the black sheep of a prominent Kryptonian family. He was banished from his home planet over a "misunderstanding," so he says. The story goes that a hard-of-hearing law enforcement official thought Myk said "One nation, under Zod" during a pledge ritual on his home planet. He was convicted of being in league with Krypton's greatest criminal and sentenced to the Phantom Zone.

Ultimately, this worked out for Myk. Shortly after his departure from Krypton, the planet blew up. When asked what he knew about the destruction of his home, he only responds with a wry grin and says "I wasn't in town when the shit went down." He was rescued from the 'Zone by Rylos resident, Sh'wn. It was Sh'wn who introduced Myk to the wonderful broadcasts of Earth and ultimately gave Myk a lift here.

Myk enjoys many types of music, women and cars. In his spare time, you can catch Myk working on his fingering and playing. He also likes to spend time with his niece and nephew, when time allows.

Zscaieynn has been reluctant to give too many details about his past, mostly because he feels any information given will make it easier for his hunter to track him down. It's not even clear *why* he's being hunted, but once you know that the person doing the hunting is a military commander who is insane and sadistic, what more do you need to know?

When asked to at least name the planet he's from, Zscaieynn almost seemed embarassed by the fact that most of the planetary names in his home region of the galaxy don't translate properly. With the exception of places like Sykar, most of the names end up being in a fairly generic format, such as "Royal Planet". Zscaieynn also mentioned (rightly enough) that humans live on a planet called Dirt--so pointing of fingers is not encouraged unless one can back it up.

As for how he got to this side of the galaxy, the answer is, unfortunately, all too typical: wave of radiation, unexpected wormhole, not entirely sure how to get back. Please note that the RISE Foundation (Relocating Interstellar Space Exiles) is currently accepting donations in Zscaieynn's name.

Site Copyright © 2003-2010 Pool Cleaners From Distant Planets. All Rights Reserved.