You Don't Have to Lurk Any More

"Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls"
- - the Clash, "London Calling"

We really do want to hear from you, but we understand that some of you are shy. So we've lifted a restriction on the Pool Cleaner Message Board. From now on, the "Critique a Pool Cleaner" section no longer requires registration to use; you can post as a guest using any name you want, any time you want.

We realize this might encourage some unwanted posts -- advertisements and the like -- but we're willing to take that chance, just so we can make it even easier for our readers to get in touch with us. And if you decide you like it and want to post on the other sections of the board, remember that registration is free.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

You probably know by now that we have a lot to say. What you may not know is that we also like to hear what you have to say. You can e-mail our main address by clicking the link at the bottom of this page, or e-mail us individually by using the addresses on the About Us page, or you can sign up for our message board and give your thoughts and opinions there. (You can also say something when you see us in public, but we're trying to make things easier for you.)

What's New?

Myk has recently gotten the CD for Kelli*Said, and now we've got what he said about the album. 4/28/07

Got some new questions up, along with our educated answers, and Rhaab weighs in on the matter of websites and banning. 4/19/07

Whew! We've finally managed to recover from the whirlwind Get a Leg Up Battle of the Bands II and now we bring you the final results of that intense competition! 1/27/07

Welcome, Earth creature! At this point, you may be asking who we are. If so, we strongly suggest you go back and read our gateway page. If, instead, you're asking why we're here, that's sort of covered there as well. But this is the place for more detail.

The primary mission of the Pool Cleaners from Distant Planets is amusing ourselves. We have found, though, that our activities in pursuit of this goal often amuse others. So we invite you to explore our site on your planetary net and seek amusement for yourself. And, if you happen to be female, we invite you to have sex with us.

Those wishing to have sex with us (or meet us for other purposes) are asked to travel to Denver, Colorado, USA, as that is the place we have chosen for our base of operations. Why here? From orbit, the North American continent was clearly the source of more electromagnetic transmissions, and therefore the best source of the entertainment you've been beaming into space for us to enjoy. We wanted a medium-sized population center--enough people for us to blend in, but some open spaces near by if things needed to be hidden. Denver met those qualifications, as well as being a fairly healthy EM source in its own right. And, frankly, we were hoping that being near Boulder would give us a chance to visit Mork's house.

So look around, read about our music videos, read our reviews of music, TV shows, and movies, drop us some e-mail, offer us sex, and try not to take anything too seriously.

The Pool Cleaners from Distant Planets may possibly use your e-mail address once in a great while to inform you when new PCfDP merchandise is available. We are not, however, interested in helping anyone else try to sell you something. Your e-mail address may be shared among the Pool Cleaners from Distant Planets if you send us a message that requires multiple responses, or in other, similar circumstances. Your e-mail address will not be given to anyone or anything else outside of the PCfDP, but it may be mocked if you've chosen a goofy net-name. If you get any spam, it's not because of us. If we EVER give, sell, or rent your personal information to anyone else, you have our solemn promise that you can dip us all in hydrochloric acid to the music of Paul Revere and the Raiders or Gary Puckett and the Union Gap (your choice).

Jeph Myk Rhaab Sh'wn Zscaieynn

[Guess who just found out why we're called Pool Cleaners from Distant Planets.]