[Pool Cleaners from Distant Planets Mascot]

For most of history, human communication depended on loud noises and lines of sight. Then, with the invention of the telegraph, Earth people began sending messages along wires. In this age, some messages are still sent along wires, cables and even lasers. The rest are sent via electromagnetic radiation--television, radio waves, microwaves. This radiation takes signals to the sky....and beyond.

As your scientist Carl Sagan taught you, every radio and TV signal that you have ever broadcast has gone into space at the speed of light. Everything has been seen by Others. Every variety show, every drama, every sitcom, every vomit-worthy reality show..... everything.

Greetings, people of Earth. Know that we have seen your pornography.

We are Pool Cleaners from Distant Planets. We have come for sex.

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